i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
