so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
