Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
