So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
