My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
