You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
