i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
