So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
