just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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