i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
