like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
