Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
