After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
