my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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