I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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