My room smells like vodka and shame
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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