I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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