You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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