My sheets look like a crime scene.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
