But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
