My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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