i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
