youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
