something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
