Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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