Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
