Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
