If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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