It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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