Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
