butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
