what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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