ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So. Much. Porn.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
