woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
