There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
