would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
