Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
