tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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