you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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