You really coming over, don't trick.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I looked at my own cervix.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
