she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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