what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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