I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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