btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
