i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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