i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
