Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
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