LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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