I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Holy sore nipples Batman
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
