My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
